Cinnamon Twists

--"Don't you love stories with a good twist?"
--"Yeah, like Sherlock Holmes!"
--"No, I can't eat Cinnamon Twists while reading. What are you, stupid?"
--"Ohhhhh, you meant CINNAMON Twists..."
--"No, I mean I just ran over your parents."

Michael The Fish

There was a fish.
His name was Michael.
My cat flushed Michael the Fish down the toilet.

..... Okay, I lied... I flushed Michael down the toilet. But only because my cat bit Michael's head off.

Okay, fine. That was me too.. But my bird was the one that poured taco seasoning on Michael.

Well... That was me too.. But shh, my parents don't know. My bird poured taco seasoning on them and my cat bit their heads and flushed them also.

Letters From The Editor -I- "Poor Penguin"

  "I once saw a shiny gold penguin.
'Twas the most lovely and delightful penguin I'd ever laid eyes upon.
What ever happened to that penguin..?

I heard it turned out to be made of FOOL'S Gold, became overwhelmingly depressed, started smoking, began drinking, discovered pot, which ended up being a gateway for him to get hooked on other drugs, like crack, heroine, meth, and even helium sprinkles.

I also heard he died last night ----- in my bed..
Gross..."

The man who wrote this article contracted PAIDS (Penguin AIDS) shortly after writing and attempting to publish it. The newspaper rejected his article immediately following the discovery of his having Chamelidia (Chlamidia from a Chameleon), Fishilis (Syphilis from a Fish), and Vaginitis (Named for his allergic reaction to.. Y'know..)
The man died 7 hours ago, and this memoir was written to honor his infected body, and warn people to stay away from it. Everyone is advised to NOT come to his funeral.

-Letter From The Editor

For Rizzle.

  Once upon a time, there was a baby dragon. Lord Frizzle took it in and raised it just how he deemed fit.

The dragon killed everybody.

And no one lived ever again.

The End.